Settling on an adoptive family will be one of the toughest decisions that you’ll ever have to make. That’s why, when you’ve finally found the couple that you believe is perfect for your baby, you may feel overjoyed with relief.
But, after giving it some thought, you’ve started asking, “Can you change adoptive couples?”
Just as you are in charge of choosing the initial adoptive family, you can also choose to change your mind if you need to. There are several reasons as to why a prospective birth mother might want to change her mind about the adoptive couple.
If you already have an adoptive couple picked out and you’re thinking about changing your mind, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted adoption specialist. They’ll be able to provide invaluable advice if you’re wondering, “Can I change adoptive families?”
What if I’m Not Sure if This is the Right Adoptive Family for My Baby?
Once you choose the adoptive family you want for your baby, you’ll begin pre-placement contact with them. At this point, you’ll start getting to know one another through phone calls, emails, and sometimes in-person visits if you live close enough to each other.
But at some point during your pre-placement contact, you may start to feel wary of your choice. It’s normal to feel anxious about your decision. After all, this is a choice that will affect your child for the rest of their life.
It’s possible that this feeling can go away. But if this is something you keep coming back to in your head, it might be time to give it some more thought. It’s more than possible that this just might not be the right family for you, as hard as it may be to believe after all this time searching. Just know that if you feel uncomfortable with the idea of continuing your adoption plan with this family, but you’d still like to pursue an adoption, that’s still more than possible.
Your adoption specialist will do everything they can to make sure that you find the right family for your baby, no matter how long it takes. They can help you determine whether there is something that can be done to reassure you of your choice; for example, maybe you have certain questions or concerns that could be addressed with the adoptive family to help you feel more confident in your decision. Other times, it may just take some more time and more conversations for you to feel fully comfortable with the adoptive parents, and that’s totally normal.
However, if you talk to your adoption specialist and still feel certain that you need to keep searching for the right adoptive parents, he or she can explain how to change adoptive families based on where you are in the adoption process.
What if I Can’t Decide on an Adoptive Family? Can I Change My Mind Later?
You’ve likely seen just how many families there are that are looking to grow their family. After looking at so many, maybe you can’t decide on just one family that could give your child the future they deserve.
Your adoption specialist will be more than willing to help you with this dilemma. To help you make this decision, your social worker will be able to set up pre-match calls. This way, you can get to know several families that you’re interested in before settling down with one option. This can be a great way to test the waters with several families so that you don’t feel as pressured or guilty about changing your mind later on.
However, if you do change your mind about the adoptive family you’ve picked down the road, that’s perfectly fine. Maybe, after spending a lot more time getting to know one another, you start to wonder, “How do you change adoptive couples?” You may even be considering a family that you initially weren’t sure of in your pre-match phone call. Whatever the reason, your adoption specialist will continue to do whatever they can to make sure that you’ve found the right family that meets your needs for an adoption.
What if I Don’t Want to Change My Mind About the Family, but About Adoption in General?
Our emotions are a tricky thing. We know that it’s not easy to choose adoption, and it may not be the right choice for every prospective birth mother. You may be at a crossroads between parenting and adoption, and you’re unsure of what your next move should be. Suddenly, something that you were 100 percent on board with has changed.
If you’re asking how to change adoptive families, it’s important to consider whether this is really about the adoptive parents you chose — or if it could have more to do with your own feelings about adoption. It’s perfectly okay to change your mind about adoption if you don’t feel like it’s the best decision for you at this time. Every prospective birth mother has the opportunity to change her mind, and you are no exception. If you continue changing your mind about the adoptive families that you’ve seen, you may need to ask yourself if this is the right time to choose adoption.
If you need advice about how to change adoptive families, or if you would like to change your mind about the adoption process, your adoption specialist will be available to you for any concerns.
What Will My Adoption Specialist Think if I Change My Mind?
More than anyone else during the adoption process, your specialist will always be the number one person in your corner. They’ll be your friend, mentor, and counselor, all in one. But we definitely understand how nerve-wracking it can be to tell them that you’re unsure if the adoptive parents, or adoption in general, is the right choice for you.
The most important thing to know is that no matter what you decide, your adoption specialist will always support you. They will, of course, give you different things to think about as you’re wondering how to change adoptive families. They’ll just want to make sure that you’ve given plenty of thought to this decision, that all of your expectations for a new adoptive family are realistic and that you’ve gotten to know the adoptive family the best you can before making this choice.
If you’re having serious doubts about your decision, don’t be afraid to reach out to your adoption specialist at any point in the process.