Giving Baby Up for Adoption — Pros and Cons

As a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy, you have three choices — adoption, adoption or parenting. Like many women before you, you’re probably under a great deal of stress right now. Deciding what to do next will impact your life for many years to come.

As you consider which option is right for you, it can be helpful to look at the pros and cons of each. Here, we’ll focus on the benefits of adoption and offer other helpful information you should know before making your decision.

To start, let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of adoption for prospective birth mothers.

Advantages of Adoption for Prospective Birth Mothers

You’re probably asking, “What are the benefits of giving a baby up for adoption?”

While a lot of adoption literature focuses on the benefits to the adoptive parents and adopted child, you should know choosing adoption can benefit you in several ways, too:

You’ll have peace of mind.

One of the biggest benefits for adoption is the feeling of relief that comes with making your decision. Many women are satisfied with their adoption decision because they know that their child is loved and cherished by someone who desperately wanted to be a parent. Your adoption plan will tell you what to expect during your pregnancy, and you’ll have the reassurance of a future relationship with your child and their adoptive parents.

You can have a personal relationship with your child.

When you choose adoption, you can also choose a deep, fulfilling relationship with your child and the adoptive family. Most modern adoptions have at least some degree of openness, so you can decide how much contact you’re open to. You can stay in contact through pictures, letters, phone calls, emails, and even in-person visits.

You won’t have to worry about how your child is doing, because you can be a part of their life as much as you feel comfortable with.

You’ll have the opportunity to focus on your dreams and goals.

Many women choose adoption because they’re not ready to become mothers or add another child to their families. Maybe you’re still in school and feel like you’re too young to raise a child. Or maybe you’ve already graduated but wants to focus on your career goals first before starting a family. Adoption can be a good choice if your future goals are a high priority.

You’ll get to choose the adoptive family and the perfect future for your baby.

As a prospective birth mother, you are in charge of choosing an adoptive family. That also means you decide the kind of life your child will have. The agency you work with will help you find exactly what you’re looking for and can send adoptive family profiles until you find one that’s perfect.

Adoption is completely free

If you choose adoption for your baby, you don’t have to worry about paying for a single thing. All of your pregnancy expenses will be covered by the adoptive family. In addition, you may be able to receive financial assistance to help you throughout your pregnancy, which can cover:

  • Rent and utilities
  • Groceries
  • Transportation
  • And more

As you can see, there are plenty of benefits for domestic adoption. But as always, you are the only one who can decide if these pros of adoption are right for you.

Disadvantages of Adoption for Prospective Birth Mothers

Before you choose adoption, you need to understand the hard parts about the journey. This will help you prepare for and find confidence in your decision.

Here are a few of the prospective birth mother negatives of adoption to keep in mind:

You will grieve.

Adoption will never be an easy decision. If you choose this option for your baby, it’s normal to experience periods of grief as you go through your healing journey. While it will become easier over time, adoption isn’t a choice that you can just “get over.”

If you ever feel like the grief becomes too hard to cope with, please remember that there is always someone available to listen. Your adoption professional can become a strong member of your support team, but you can always reach out to an adoption counselor, a hospital social worker or another organization that can provide information about the pros and cons of adoption.

You may lose some important relationships.

It’s possible that not everyone in your life will support your adoption decision. You may lose the support of your family and friends as you make this difficult choice, and you will have to learn how to cope with their absence.

You may, at times, regret your adoption decision.

Even if you know that adoption was the best decision you could have made for your baby, it’s normal to think about what could have been. You’re only human, after all.

The best way to combat feelings of regret is to make sure that you’re ready for adoption before you start. It can be helpful to discuss your worries with an adoption counselor or specialist who can provide unbiased information about the pros and cons of domestic adoption.

You won’t be able to get your baby back.

Of course, you can change your mind about adoption at any point during the process. But once the revocation period has passed, you won’t be able to get your baby back.

Before you choose adoption, be positive that it’s the right choice for you. If you have any questions about the legalities of terminating your parental rights, your adoption professional and adoption attorney can always help.

We know that these reasons against adoption may be surprising, but with something like adoption, honesty is important. Even though there may be more adoption benefits than cons for you, you should always look at the entire picture before you make your adoption decision.

Advantages of Adoption for Adoptive Families

As you consider adoption, it can also be helpful to consider the adoption advantages for the adoptive family and for your child:

Their dreams for a family will come true.

The biggest advantage of adopting a child is, of course, the chance to finally become parents. Many adoptive parents have spent years waiting for this opportunity and they hope to cherish every moment. No matter what challenges arise, it’s always worth it in the end.

When you choose to place your child for adoption, you can make those dreams come true.

They can have a personal relationship with you.

Adoption doesn’t end after placement. Many adoptive parents are excited about the prospect of getting to know the prospective birth mother. If you choose to have an open adoption, you can cultivate that relationship for many years to come. In fact, many adoptive and birth parents consider each other part of the extended family.

Advantages of Adoption for Adoptees

Finally, you should always consider the advantages of adoption for the child you’re placing. Their best interests should always come first; that may be the reason you’re considering adoption in the first place.

Your child will grow up in a loving home.

For many, this is one of the biggest benefits of adoption for the child. When you choose adoption, your child will have the chance to grow up in a loving home full of opportunities. They will have the chance to thrive and fulfill their dreams — all because you hand-picked the family and life you wanted them to have.

Your child will have two sets of loving parents.

If you choose to have an open adoption, their life will be filled with love from their adoptive and birth parents. When an adoptee grows up knowing their adoption story, they are filled with love and respect for the difficult decision their birth parents had to make.

As many adoptees have shared, there are countless benefits to growing up in an open adoption.

Common Adoption Myths

During your research, you’ve probably come across a few misconceptions about adoption. As you weigh the pros and cons of adoption, we’d like to clear those up.

Adoption is “giving up.”

Choosing adoption does not mean that you’re “giving up on” your baby or on a relationship with them. Adoption is a selfless choice, and it is one that a woman only makes out of love for her child.

The phrase “giving up for adoption” may be common, but it in no way reflects the reality of a woman choosing adoption for her baby.

Placing a child for adoption is easy.

There is so much to consider before a woman chooses adoption for her baby. It is not a simple or easy decision to make. It may be the hardest thing she ever does, but she knows the benefits of adoption for the child and will do anything to give them the future she always wanted for them.

Choosing an open adoption is not in the child’s best interest.

Many believe that open adoption means co-parenting, and that the adoptee will be confused about having birth parents in their life or that too much contact will be harmful for the child.

But the truth is that open adoptions benefit everyone in the triad — especially the adoptee. If you choose to have an open adoption, your child will feel more secure in their identity. As they grow up, they will be able to ask you questions about their family history and have a closer connection to their heritage.

Is Adoption Right for You?

Before you choose adoption, imagine what you want your life to look like 10, 20 or even 30 years from now. The choice you make right now will change your entire future, and it’s to you to decide what you want it to look like.

Do plenty of research so that you can be prepared for the adoption experience, if you eventually choose this path. If you would like to talk through the prospective birth mother benefits in adoption, please fill out our free information form to be contacted by an adoption professional.

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