“I’m Pregnant and Don’t Want to Be” [Understanding Your Options]

“I don’t want my baby anymore” – It is a difficult thought to have, and one that is likely accompanied by a complex mix of emotions.

Thoughts like these can be difficult to cope with. But we want you to know that help is available. In this article, we plan to cover:

  • The options you have if you’re thinking, “I don’t want my children anymore”
  • How an adoption agency can help if you’re “pregnant and don’t want to be”
  • What thoughts of “I don’t want to be pregnant” really mean

Pregnancy and childbirth can be overwhelming, emotional, frightening and exhausting, and it is normal to have doubts. Before anything else, we recommend reaching out to a professional, for free information about all of your options.

You are not the first to struggle with negative thoughts and feelings about your pregnancy and your baby, and there is help available. To learn more about what it means when you’re pregnant and don’t want the baby, keep reading below.

Who Do I Talk to if I’m Pregnant and I Don’t Want to Be?

First, it is crucial that you speak with a doctor, counselor, therapist, adoption specialist or other mental health professional to address your concerns and rule out physical or mental health conditions.

Pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are emotionally charged experiences, and these professionals are all very familiar with the associated stresses and difficulties. They have likely spoken with hundreds of women who don’t want to be pregnant or feel unprepared, overwhelmed or uninterested in being mothers.

Thoughts of “I don’t want my child, can I give up for adoption?” are more common than you might think.  Work with your chosen professional as you examine your emotions and determine where they are coming from.

  • Are these feelings permanent or temporary?
  • Could you be suffering from post-partum depression?
  • Are you ready to be a parent?
  • What is the best thing for you and your child?

Your professional can answer these questions and more. They may be able to reassure you that your feelings are all normal and will fade with time. Right now, you’re likely feeling:

  • Stress
  • Sadness
  • Anxiety
  • Loneliness
  • Or fatigue

All of this is normal. But if you are like one in seven new mothers, you may be suffering from post-partum depression. This is a highly treatable form of depression that can last for many weeks or months and can interfere with your ability to care for and enjoy your new baby. With treatment, it is possible to overcome your symptoms and begin to appreciate motherhood.

“I Don’t Want My Child Anymore” [What if These Thoughts are Real?]

Alternatively, your professional may help you determine that your feelings of “I don’t want my child” are more permanent, and that parenthood may not be right for you at this time in your life. In these scenarios, your professional can help you come to terms with your thoughts and develop a plan for yourself and your baby.

If you feel strongly that you are not ready or do not want to be a parent, there is no shame in taking a proactive approach and exploring your options. Regardless of where you are in your pregnancy, if you are pregnant and don’t want to be, it is never too late to choose adoption. 

This choice does not signal that you are weak or “giving up” in any way. In fact, many women who choose adoption are wonderful mothers; by choosing adoption, you can provide your child with loving parents, endless opportunities and a happy life — and that is what great mothers do.

Some birth mothers, like Casey, found themselves also thinking, “If I don’t want my children any more who can I call to get them?” after struggling with the responsibilities of parenthood:

“I didn’t have family support… everything was on my own,” she said. “I was just contemplating, ‘What can I possibly do now that would make a difference for our future and provide my sons with the life that I would like to give them?’”

For Casey, and many women just like her who are pregnant and don’t want to be, adoption is the best decisions they could have made. Now, she can rest easier knowing that she gave her sons the life she always dreamed of for them.

“I Don’t Want My Baby, But I Don’t Want an Abortion” [Is Adoption Right for Me?]

Adoption could be the best decision you ever make. When you choose adoption for your baby, you are actively making the decision to provide a better future for them and for yourself.

When Sharon was pregnant but didn’t want the baby, she chose adoption. But, what she didn’t realize was the impact it would have on everyone around her.

““I knew I wasn’t prepared to give [my baby] the love, attention and life she deserved… [By choosing adoption], I changed at least three people’s lives for the better — her adoptive parents and of course our daughter. That is the most wonderful feeling.”

When you choose adoption for your baby, you can:

  • Be a core part of their life and the adoptive family’s (if you choose to)
  • Receive support from a network of birth mothers who know exactly what you’re going through
  • Rest easier knowing that your child will grow up surrounded by love and countless opportunities

If you’re unsure about parenting or abortion, then adoption might be the right choice for you. Regardless of what you decide, you should be proud of yourself for having the strength to address these difficult thoughts and for taking the necessary steps to do what is best for yourself and your child. It is not easy to say to yourself, “I don’t want by child anymore, is there a safe space to bring him?”

If you are experiencing feelings of not wanting your baby, please click the following for more information about deciding between parenting or adoption, or you may contact an adoption specialist today. In the meantime, feel free to begin looking through profiles of families waiting to adopt. 

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