If you’re transgender and are unexpectedly pregnant, you’re most likely feeling a lot of emotions.
And although it will take time to feel and move through your emotions, some of your worries may dissipate when you understand your unplanned pregnancy options.
When you’re transgender and experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, it’s important to know you always have these three options:
- Abortion
- Parenting
- Adoption
If you’ve considered these options and have decided that transgender adoption is the right choice for you, you can reach out to a trans-affirming adoption specialist today. If you’re still thinking about the unplanned pregnancy option that’s best for you and your life plan, read on to learn more about your unexpected pregnancy choices.
Abortion
If a trans person accidentally gets pregnant, they can choose to have an abortion in the United States. However, each U.S. state has different abortion regulations. Many of these regulations are restrictive, so it’s important to contact a trusted medical professional early in your pregnancy.
According to American Adoptions, a national adoption agency that serves prospective birth mothers and adoptive families (including the LGBTQ community), “it can be harder to find a doctor who will provide an abortion after 12 weeks of pregnancy, and almost all states ban abortion by 25 weeks.”
Remember: If you’re pregnant, transgender abortion is possible. But, it’s essential to reach out to an abortion provider as soon as you are able.
Parenting
If you’re ftm and pregnant, you may ask yourself: “Am I ready to become a parent?”
Many people who experience unplanned pregnancy decide to parent their children. However, this life-changing decision is entirely up to you. When weighing your parenting options, it’s wise to consider the following parenting questions:
- Do you have the financial means to raise a child?
- Are you able to provide your child with the life you want for them?
- Is becoming a parent part of your life plan?
- Do you want to be a parent right now?
Although there are more parenting-readiness questions to consider, you should first ponder your answers to these fundamental questions.
Parenting is always an option. But, it’s wise to make sure you are fully ready to commit to parenthood.
Adoption
Transgender men experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can choose adoption at any point during or after their pregnancy. If you choose adoption, consider the following five adoption steps. Each step will help you navigate your transgender adoption experience.
Step 1: Choose a Transgender Adoption Specialist
Although you can choose to work with any adoption agency, we recommend working with trans-affirming adoption agencies with experience working with LGBTQ-prospective birth parents. These agencies are better suited to support your needs throughout the adoption process.
In addition to choosing an agency that’s LGBTQ-friendly, you also will need to decide if you want to work with a local or regional agency or a national agency. Adoption agencies (especially national adoption agencies) work with many diverse hopeful adoptive families and are typically able to help you get financial assistance throughout and directly after your adoption.
Several trans-affirming adoption agencies to consider are:
If you choose not to work with an adoption agency, you can find a prospective adoptive family on your own. If you choose to work independently, you will have to hire an adoption attorney to handle the legal portion of your transgender adoption.
Step 2: Choose Your Adoption Type
After you choose to place your baby for adoption, it’s time to consider what type of adoption you’d like. You can choose to have an:
- Open adoption
- Semi-open adoption
- Closed adoption
If you choose an adoption with some level of openness (this is the most common type of adoption), you’ll have the opportunity to get to know your child and the adoptive family. If you prefer to have no contact with your child or the adoptive family, you can always choose a closed adoption.
You are in control of the type of transgender adoption you choose.
Step 3: Choose and Get to Know the Adoptive Family
You always have the opportunity to choose your child’s adoptive family. When selecting an adoptive family, you will consider the prospective adoptive family qualities. The following are some of the common qualities prospective birth parents consider:
- The adoptive family’s location
- The adoptive family’s size
- The adoptive family’s lifestyle
- And more
If you choose an open or semi-open adoption, you will have the opportunity to get to know the adoptive family before you give birth. Typically, your adoption specialist will schedule an initial conference call. After the call, you can continue to exchange calls, texts, photos or even arrange in-person visits.
If you’d like to look at some adoptive families today, you can browse profiles here.
Step 4: Prepare for the Delivery
Your adoption specialist will help you make a birth plan. This plan will detail:
- Where you want to give birth
- Who you want at your delivery
- If you want the adoptive family to meet you at the hospital
- If you want the adoptive family in the delivery room
- And more
We know it can feel overwhelming to find trans-affirming obstetricians. But, trans-affirming adoption agencies can help you get the gender-affirming care you need. Your transgender adoption specialist will always advocate for you.
Step 5: Consider Life Post-Placement
After your delivery, you will usually need to wait between 24-72 hours to consent to the adoption legally. This timeframe is different in each state.
After you terminate your parental rights, your child will become a part of the adoptive family. At this point, you can focus on your health and needs and start to think about your future relationship with your child and the adoptive family.
Future contact can include phone calls, texts, photo exchanges, video calls, and in-person visits. You also will have access to post-placement therapy if you work with an adoption agency.
You Can Always Choose Transgender Adoption
It’s important to know that you can always choose transgender adoption if you are ftm and accidentally pregnant. There are trans-affirming adoption agencies and LGBTQ-friendly adoption specialists who will guide you through the adoption process. These adoption professionals will make sure you are supported and ensure all your birth parent rights are upheld.