If you are considering adoption for your unplanned pregnancy, it’s natural for you to be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. You likely have many different thoughts, questions and concerns on the adoption process. Oftentimes, prospective birth mothers wonder, “Is it hard to put a child up for adoption?”
The answer to this question is not a simple yes or no.
The practical steps of the adoption process are not overly challenging, but the emotional impact of choosing adoption for your baby can be incredibly difficult. If you are concerned and questioning how hard it is to put a newborn baby up for adoption, keep reading to learn more of the difficulties you may face when pursuing adoption — and the support that’s available to help you through them.
The Adoption Process: How Hard is it to Make an Adoption Plan?
Adoption involves a lot of moving parts — first, you’ll need to find an adoption agency. Then you’ll begin searching for the perfect adoptive family. You’ll make a lot of decisions along the way about the future you want for your baby.
All of that can make you wonder, “How complicated is giving up a child for adoption?”
While the emotions of placing a baby for adoption can be difficult and complicated, the steps of the process don’t have to be.
If you are considering adoption for your baby, the first thing you should do is talk to an adoption specialist. An adoption professional will help give you a better peace of mind and the clarification you may need to know that you are making the right decision. They will explain the benefits of adoption for you and your child and help keep you on track toward a successful adoption. They understand this is not an easy decision, but they will be by your side every step of the way to make sure you do not experience your pregnancy alone. With the right adoption professional, the process is easy to put a child up for adoption.
When you work with an adoption specialist, the process itself can be broken down in just a few steps:
- Step 1: Create an adoption plan. This plan is essentially a summary of how you want the adoption to go. It will cover information like the preferred characteristics you want in an adoptive family and how much contact you would like with them and with your baby after the adoption. The adoption plan sets the tone of your adoption and leaves you in control of the important decisions throughout.
- Step 2: Find the best adoptive family for your baby. Oftentimes, we are asked, “How hard is it to find adoptive parents for your child?” Although this is a very important decision, your adoption specialist will assist you through this step of the process by providing you with adoptive family profiles that match the characteristics you are looking for. The profiles will give you a feel for the family’s background, personality and goals for adoption. From these profiles, you can pick the family that you feel is perfect for your baby. You are in complete control of the final decision.
- Step 3: Establish a relationship with the adoptive family. With open adoptions becoming the norm, once you have selected an adoptive family, you will have the opportunity to get to know them throughout the remainder of your pregnancy, if desired. Your adoption professional can coordinate phone calls, meetings and other communication with the adoptive family so you can connect with them and feel certain that they are the best choice for your baby. Building an early relationship with the adoptive family can go a long way toward a lasting relationship post-placement.
- Step 4: Complete placement. After you have delivered your baby, it will soon be time for placement. Your specialist and adoption attorney will explain the placement process in your state. You will then sign the necessary paperwork at the hospital. At this point, you will be giving the adoptive family the parental rights for your child, and the legal aspects of your adoption are complete. Depending on the type of adoption agreed on during your adoption planning, updates, visits and more could all occur post-placement.
This is a brief run-down of the adoption process. To answer the question, “Is it easy to put a baby up for adoption?”, from a logistical standpoint, the answer is yes. Working with an adoption professional makes the process much easier, and rightfully so. You have enough going on; you shouldn’t have to worry about paperwork and legalities or searching for and coordinating with adoptive families on your own. You should be able to focus on having a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Finding an Adoption Professional to Help with the Difficulty of “Giving a Child Up” for Adoption
Your adoption specialist will impact the outcome of your entire adoption experience. It’s important to find the best adoption professional during your pregnancy. Although there will be many different services offered, there are a few you want to make sure your professional can facilitate. While it will never be easy to “give a baby up” for adoption, these services can help you feel supported and cope with the difficult emotions of this process:
- 24/7 Availability: One of the most important adoption services is 24/7 counseling services and availability. Odds are, this is a whole new experience for you. You never know when you may have questions, or just need to talk to someone. Having 24/7 availability eliminates any doubt that you won’t be able to find the answers or support you need.
- Full-Service Support: Another service you should look for when choosing an adoption specialist is full-service support. Make sure your agency offers adoption planning, help creating a hospital plan, case management and the legal support you will need to complete your adoption. Full-service support helps ensure your adoption stays on the right track towards success.
- Financial Assistance: Financial assistance is available for prospective birth mothers. This assistance can vary based on your state laws and living situation, but in many cases can be applied toward living expenses, medical bills and other costs that may occur during pregnancy.
The main thing to look for when finding an adoption professional is their ability to provide unbiased information and to put your needs first. You are in control of your adoption, your professional should only be there to help guide you along the way, not persuade you to make any decisions you don’t feel good about.
You may want to contact multiple professionals until you find the best fit for you. They will be able to answer any questions you may have. From what services they offer, to how hard it is to “give a child up” for adoption, your adoption professional will provide the information and resources you need throughout your adoption.
Is “Giving a Baby Up” for Adoption Hard Emotionally?
When asked, “Is it easy to put a baby up for adoption?”, one cannot simply answer yes. If they do, they are not taking the emotional aspect of adoption into the consideration. As previously discussed, from a logistical standpoint, adoption can be a fairly easy process. Emotionally, it is never easy to place a child for adoption. This emotional impact is why it’s difficult to “give a baby up” for adoption.
Adoption is one of the bravest, most selfless decisions a mother can make. It is not a decision that you make overnight. It takes plenty of thought, consideration and planning. Although a birth mother makes the decision to place her baby for adoption out of love and the well-being of the child, there are still feelings of loss and grief associated with her choice.
Every birth mother’s experience will be different, as everyone handles their emotions differently. It is normal to experience many different stages of grief before coming to terms with the adoption. While many find their own ways of coping, your adoption specialist will be with you every step of the way to make sure you are getting the help you need, guiding you toward healing.
Many birth mothers find that these feelings come and go in waves. They emphasize the importance of realizing the life-changing and positive impact you are making on your child’s life. The emotions of loss and grief can sometimes make you lose sight of the ultimate goal of your adoption decision, which is to provide the best opportunities and loving home for your baby. There are many different support groups, websites, and counseling services to help birth mothers not only grieve and cope, but also realize what an amazing decision they have made.
Is it hard to put a child up for adoption? Emotionally, yes, it can be a challenge. With the right resources by your side and your baby’s best interest in mind, the difficulties you may face will be worth it in the long run.
Contact an Adoption Professional Today
An unplanned pregnancy can be difficult enough as it is. Experiencing it alone can make it even harder. If you are considering adoption for your baby, or just have questions about your options, adoption professionals are here to make sure you have the answers you need and that you are never alone during this emotional time.
To speak to a trained adoption specialist near you, please fill out our free information form to learn more.