All girls are born with the same dream. By playing “house” and with baby dolls, this dream is acted out at a very young age that follows them into adulthood. Then one day the girl awakes from her dream as a woman and finds herself as what she has always wanted to become: a mother.
But what happens if the dream of being a mom is crushed because of problems with infertility? Where does the woman turn next?
She turns to you, the birth mother of her future adopted child – the one who can once again make her dreams come true.
For all of us, the more we struggle to get something, the more we value it and the less we take it for granted. This is undeniably true with infertile couples who see their baby slipping further and further away after every unsuccessful course of fertility treatments. Many infertile couples spend years and tens of thousands of dollars seeking help from a fertility specialist, and most of them end up where they started, with no baby.
However, once they decide to pursue adoption and when they finally receive a child, the fertility treatments, years waiting and money spent was all worth it, because of you.
Every adoptive family is exactly the same in one very important way: Their adopted child is the light of their lives. They love the child as much or even more than they would a biological child because of the painful journey it took to finally become parents.
That is why any family you choose will place your child on the highest pedestal and will provide him or her with as many opportunities as possible. Your child will have loving parents, a stable household, a good education and countless other opportunities that adoptive families literally can’t wait to share with your child.
There is one opportunity, however, that is bigger and requires more love than all of those combined: The opportunity you provided your child by deciding to place him or her for adoption. This selfless act will be remembered for the rest of your child’s and the adoptive parents’ lives. You will be thought of not just on holidays and birthdays, but every day, because every time the adoptive parents interact with the child, they will remember the blessing you provided them.
Because of their own emotionally draining journeys, adoptive families are empathetic of the pain and grief birth mothers endure throughout the adoption process. They know it is bittersweet that the most exciting day of their lives coincides with one of the most difficult days of yours. That is the reason adoptive families treasure birth mothers, and the love, courage and generosity they exhibit throughout the adoption process.
Both parties have encountered opposite struggles, but they often experience similar emotions that help form a kinship between birth mothers and the adoptive family.
Their relationship and respect of the birth mother often result in the birth mother becoming an extended part of their family. Many adoptive families are excited to maintain a relationship with the birth mothers, depending on what is most comfortable for you.
Jerry and Lisa as well as the rest of their friends and family are one example of thousands of adoptive parents whose lives were made complete by the birth mother. Jerry and Lisa and their extended family will always view the birth mother Lona as a blessing.
“We hope (Lona) realizes that she filled a tremendous void in our lives and we will thank her for the rest of our lives,” Jerry writes. “Our entire family and all of our friends only with they could have had the chance to personally tell her ‘thank you.’ We want her to know that she is loved and respected by so many people. She is truly a remarkable lady and will forever be a member of our family.”
Birth mothers like Lona are the heroes of thousands of families who all share the same sentiment: The child’s birth mother is one of the most loving, unselfish and caring individuals on the planet, and she is the reason that their family is whole.
Adoptive families cherish their children because they are a symbol of the love and selflessness that you and the couple share; they are a symbol of the miracle that helped them overcome the curse of infertility. The love they show to your child will be felt by you, wherever you may be, knowing that you did what was best for your child.