When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, many women have to make the decision to either parent the child, place the child for adoption or have an abortion. Each of these options requires the mother and father to decide what they are able to emotionally, financially and physically handle.
Adoption is the choice to have another family parent the child. Many women do not think that they could give their baby up for adoption until they learn more about the process and understand that adoption is much different than it was when adoptions were secretive and the birth mothers had little control. Today, women are able to maintain contact with the adoptive parents and even the child. They are able to see their child obtain everything he or she wants, and this brings many parents joy and peace of mind.
Even though there is much joy with adoption, there are emotional effects when making this life-long decision. Many women feel a sense of loss because of the adoption, especially around the child’s birthday or holidays. Birth mothers sometimes have trouble forming relationships with others because they feel the people in their life might leave them. They feel shame at not being able to care for the child and experience sudden bursts of anger or sadness for no particular reason.
Although birth mothers feel the sadness and loss that inevitably comes with adoption, many women find happiness in seeing their child grow up happy and well-cared for. They also know that they will one day be able to reconnect with the child. Many birth mothers fulfill their goal of an education and a career because they are able to be fully committed to accomplishing their goals, and they can experience the joy of building a family when they are ready and able to.
Raising a child and having a family can be a wonderful experience if the person is ready and able to take care of a family. Raising a family is a stressful obligation and many women find it extremely difficult to not only provide the love a child requires, but also the amount of money it takes to provide health care, food, clothing, childcare, school and activities for the child.
If the women’s relationship with the father is unreliable or unhealthy, it could cause even more problems in your relationship because you might feel obligated to maintain a relationship with the child’s father. The child’s emotional development could be harmed by the way in which you and the father interact. This type of stress can cause other situations to become worse, such as a drinking or drug problem.
Many women feel disappointed with their lives as they are usually unable to attend a college or dedicate themselves to work because they have so many other responsibilities. When choosing to parent, women need to realistically think about how they will raise and support their family and how this responsibility will affect their own mental well-being. Parents need to be prepared for the long commitment of support and caring they must provide for their child.
Many women believe the misconception that an abortion will “get rid of the problem” or “make the issue go away.” This is not true and can be very confusing to women after they have an abortion. Regret and feelings of depression are reported by many women after they have the procedure.
Some women experience shame and are fearful that others will find out about their abortion, so many women isolate themselves, which intensifies the loneliness and depression they are already experiencing. An intense feeling of emptiness is felt by many women after the abortion.
An abortion can also cause strain on a woman’s emotional and sexual relationship with her partner because she feels apprehensive about becoming pregnant again. Many women also feel sexually vulnerable because of the procedure. An abortion can even cause medical problems, such as damage to the cervix or scaring of the uterine lining, and can harm a woman’s ability to become pregnant in the future.
An abortion does not make the fact that a woman was pregnant go away. It is also a life-long decision that a woman must be ready to commit to if she feel this is the right option for her.
You must make your own decision about whether you would consider putting your child up for adoption, parenting the child or having an abortion. No one else will know your situation and how you will handle the emotional effects of each option as well as you will. Knowing these facts about each option will help you decide what emotions to be prepared for and what you want for your life and the life of your child.